Have you ever allowed someone to dim your light? How did it feel? Did you feel insecure? Did you feel inadequate? Or worse, guilty? Whatever the reason might be, you should never allow someone to steal your personality, character and most importantly, joy. The truth is, everyone will not be drawn towards you. Some will love you, and some might hate you. Some will think you're too bold, too confident, too reserved, etc. That is there problem. Not yours. You will not be everyone's cup of tea and that is perfectly okay. We are all uniquely created. Always be true to yourself first, no matter who or what you might lose in the process. Your light is yours, and yours only. God doesn't make mistakes. Always shine bright and stand tall against all odds. Don't ever try to blend in, or conform to appease others. Be at peace with yourself. Love who you are, and practice being the best version of YOU daily!
Here are 7 individuals who will attempt to dim your light!
The Passive Aggressive: Some individuals will try to dim your light by not openly supporting or complimenting you on personal achievements. They might make snarky or condescending comments in a passive manner. They will never openly be ugly, but they will throw "shade" as much as possible. These individuals are not your people. Most likely this person will always have some type of hate in their heart for you. This person will always have something "negative" to say about your journey. They will start to make you feel drained and cause you to overthink their passive aggressive actions towards you. It's one of the most negative and exhausting traits. Be sure to steer clear of this vindictive individual. The will always act alarmed and shocked when called out on their behavior. Don't let this person dim your light by causing you to reeled stress and unmotivated.
The Gossiper: The gossiper will dim your light by smiling in your face, while privately scorning you to others. This person will actually team up with others, just to be in company with miserable individuals who think the same. These individuals are usually insecure internally, and have no authentic agenda to produce positive energy. They tend to feed off of groups of people, who approve of their sadistic behavior. A gossiper could never be trusted. They will find ways to dim your light by speaking bad about you to others and sabotaging past and present bonds. Don't let this person dim your light! Let them talk and be you through and through! My grandma always said "People are going to talk about you no matter what! Let them!" You have too much shining to do. Don't ever let anyone deflect your beaming light.
The Nay-Sayer: This group of individuals will try to dim your light by always having something negative to say! They will literally try to deflect every positive accomplishment in your life. They will have something to say about your personality, confidence, disposition, etc. They just can't help themselves. The nay-sayer will make you feel discouraged. They will distract you from achieving your goals in order to keep you in a negative realm. Honestly, these people are usually envious and unhappy. You have to be very careful with the information you share with a nay-sayer. You can go from a solid, to a flimsy plan, in mere moments when dealing with a negative individual. Most of these people don't even know they are negative. They just keep going and going. It's exhausting just thinking about it.
The Fake: This person will attempt to dim your light by always being two sided. It does not matter how much this person come off as a leader, christian, good samaritan, etc. They will send fake love your way, but downplay your attributes to others. Although this unfortunate characteristic, sound similar to the gossiper, it is totally different. The major difference is the public display of attention. This person gets off on showing the public that they are a "positive" individual. They will compliment you, and "pray" for you, all for attention. In actuality, they could care less about any of your endeavors. They are fake. You can't expect loyalty or genuine behavior from a fake individual. Don't let this person dim your light. You will regret burning your precious energy.
The Secret Competitor: Have you ever had someone to compete with you, and you didn't even know it? This individual will secretly compete and compare themselves, their life, etc. to you. It's the most annoying characteristic. This person will always try to one up you on everything that you do. If you post an accomplishment on social media, they will have to post something they deem as better. If you tell them you are succeeding in something, they will mention how they have already did that, or something similar. It's always about them. These individuals will compete with marriage, jobs, kids, homes, etc. It's pretty funny at first, but after a while, it's downright annoying. This person is extremely insecure and obviously lonely. Most people who are secure, don't have time to play these juvenile games. The secret competitor feels like they have to be on top, regardless, if you know or not. I believe it actually helps them feel better about their life. You are basically in a secret competition. This person will dim your light by always putting you on edge. You will never no their tru intentions. This can break your focus and cause you to fall into their tumultuous trap.
The Victim: This person dims your light by always holding you at fault for everything, but SECRETLY! They will never have the courage to tell you what their problem is with you, but they will sure enough tell others. They can't take responsibility for anything. "You were too aggressive when you talked to them. You said a rude comment. You didn't care about their feelings. You weren't a good friend!" These are most of the thoughts that go through their head but they will almost never admit it. Because if they tell address it, you can obviously fix it. But they don't want a solution. They want to blame and be the victim. They will gradually become distant and non active. Why you might ask? Because your light is too damn bright! They will act funny at all cost. These individuals usually behave in this manner when you are either at your height of success, or when you are addressing them about an issue. They will always secretly have a problem with something, and will always find a way to make you seem like the bad guy. When in fact, this person is very manipulative. Others may see this individual as kind or sweet on the surface, but in actuality, this is the one who can't be trusted. They will turn on you like the wheels on a car. This person ultimately attempts to dim your light, by making you feel guilty, overthink silly conversations which turn into disagreements, and of course, not accepting responsibility for their actions.
The Hater: Self explanatory!! This person is just jealous and hateful. I hate to call adults haters, but hey if the shoe fits. Most of the time we think this person may be jealous because they have less..... but most of the time, it's the individuals with the nicest job, home, car, family, etc. They are never happy and feel completely empty inside. They may act happy and photogenic on social media, but are silently screaming. They will try to compare (like the competitor) but their wrath is worse. They will make you feel guilty about being too confident, too bold, too opinionated, etc. In actuality, they love your traits. They just wish they had them. Instead of telling you, "Hey I love your confidence or your strong personality," a hater will do the complete opposite. A hater will say or think things like, "You are too abrasive, rude and arrogant." But that's their problem. Not yours. Don't ever dim your light because of someone's insecurities. These individuals usually hate themselves. Healing has to start from within. You can't do anything to fix an envious person. BUT....you can change who you let into your personal space.
I hate to break it to you.....but if you are in company with any of these individuals, your light is dimmed or almost off. As much as you may think you are able to control others around you...YOU CANNOT!!! You can only control whom you allow in to your space. When we are surrounded by toxic traits, we subconsciously channel the negative behavior and we start to dim our own light.
Good luck on your journey to a healthier and more positive lifestyle! Remember to always be a light to others.
-S. Lynn Garner