Have you ever wondered why some of your best relationships suddenly become lackluster, pretentious, or worst, non existent? Do you ever find yourself over analyzing the root cause of why a relationship has ended? If so, stop torturing yourself with unnecessary burdens. As humans evolve, we change our perspectives, values, etc. Social circles can also change, if we no longer feel connected with our present company. Friendships either evolve or fade. There is no getting around that. Some people are placed in our lives only for a specific season, but most of the time we don't understand the full meaning of this. Consequently, we place lifetime expectations on seasonal friendships. Some people are only placed in our lives temporarily for a specific purpose. This purpose might be to teach you a lesson, support you though a difficult time, etc. Whatever the purpose may be, always look for the lesson behind every relationship.
Here are a several tips to deal with the end of a seasonal relationships:
1. Understanding The Effects of Growth
In order to truly progress, we must grow. Sometimes as we are growing into the person
we wish to become, our perspectives and outlook on life changes. It's totally normal to
evolve as you start to develop and embark on your new personal journey. As our lives
adapt to our new doctrine, we tend to meet and attract new like minded people
with similar interest. Once again, this is completely normal. But, sometimes we start to
gradually separate from our original circle. Although this is also normal, it feels painful.
Some of the friends we once called daily and treated like family, start to eventually fade
away. Sometimes this can seem a little abrupt and cold, but in actuality, it's life. Try not
to overthink too much. You will waste so much time trying to figure out where exactly
things stopped being normal. If you've tried to mend the disconnect and the friendship
is still on the rocks, then be at peace. Understand that you both may just be
growing in different directions and that's totally normal.
2. Cherish Memories
Honoring the special moments and realizing its okay to cherish them. Just because your
paths are now diverged, doesn't mean you can't remember the good times. It's okay to
reminisce and reflect on priceless memories. You invested in the special moments and
deserve to cherish every memory. Memorializing a friendship will let you relive those
special moments without totally discarding the past friendship. Your heart and mind will
thank you for it.
3. Learn To Let Go!
As humans, we tend to hate change and letting go. Sometimes we hold on to people
and things just because we are afraid to move on. We hold on to people as we would
hold on to a security blanket. We thrive off of close, familiar connections that enable us
to be complacent and "comfortable."This is the worst thing to do. When a friendship
is over, it's over. Don't ever force something just because you are in need of that security
blanket. Open your heart and mind to making new connections and starting fresh, by
evaluating your new likes likes and dislikes. Trying to force an old friendship will
definitely consume you with resentment. Continue on your journey and understand that
nothing is forever.
4. Well Wishes Salute and MOVE ON!!!
Wish them well and expect nothing in return. You should always wish an old friend well,
whether they betrayed you or not. It helps you find that inner peace. Move on with your
life and focus on your new relationships. Never compare the new and the old.
Sometimes we want to take our past season relationships with us to
the new seasons!! No! No! No! You must learn to leave winter behind and say hello to
Spring and sunshine! Don't try to wear a wool coat in the springtime. It will be definitely
out of place, and not aligned with your new goals and outlook.
5.Truly Understand Seasons Will Change and There IS Nothing You Can Do!
Friends change. Time change. Seasons change. We change. There is nothing we can do
about it. Life is about personal growth, purpose, journey, etc.
Will I take this or that path? We are never truly the same person. It makes
sense for some relationships to run its course. Some relationships are just destined
to expire. If we keep trying to hold on to every single person, we might not have room
for the new special relationships to come into our lives.
6. Stop Overthinking The Culprit!
Stop trying to figure out which party is to blame for the demise of the friendship.
Sometimes we just grow apart and that's okay. We won't always receive an exact answer
as to why something has ended. We have to be okay with a non concrete answer and
find peace for closure within ourselves.
I hope this article helps you on your journey of understanding how to find closure with seasonal relationships. It can be challenging at first, but I promise it gets better.
-S. Lynn Garner