Why is God always calling me to be the bigger person in almost 100% of the situations I face? By apologizing and/or attempting to smooth things over, I sometimes feel like I'm somehow admitting guilt. This drives me crazy. I mean insane. Sometimes I think to myself..."Is anyone else getting the message, or is it just me?" When a wedge is placed in the middle of a relationship; I feel like I must find a solution. I decided to sit with my dad and ask...why am I called to do this? He responded with "God calls specific people to perform certain task and this is yours." We continued the discussion, but I still felt like I was suckered into always feeling bad after a disagreement (even if I didn't show it) and of course working over-time to find solutions to get things back on track. I would prefer to wash my hands of everything, but I'm pulled by an unknown force to settle disputes. These disputes can range from my personal relationships to outside relationships. For example, if two friends have a dispute, I will do my best to bring the two back together. Also, If I believe I'm totally right on a situation, I will definitely let the person know, but still find way to meet them halfway. It almost seems as if I'm sacrificing my stance in order to reconcile. It's a grueling thought process I admit, but the rewards can be beneficial. Sometimes, I would just like the other person to be the bigger person so that I can relax and not worry about being Mrs. "FIX IT" all the time. But until then, here's how I cope with being the BIGGER person.
1. I try to keep my eye on the prize!
Regardless of right or wrong, I try to remember that the most important part in the situation is to find a solution. Do you want to remain in the disagreement stage or would you like to move on? It is as simple as that. Sometimes we make things harder because our emotions are involved. Emotions will keep you at a stagnant stage forever, if you don't tame them. I try to see the bigger picture by asking myself specific questions such as...Is this situation that big? Is it worth tarnishing a relationship over miscommunication? Am I just trying to hold onto my side things just for personal pleasure? Is it that serious? If you answer these questions honestly and realize it isn't that serious, you should just put things to the side and clear the air. Move on and enjoy life.
2. Obedient Servant
God is the only reason why I keep mending broken situations. I try to think of what would God want or how can I be a better servant (especially when I have other downfalls I want him to forgive me for). How can I better serve my maker? When I start to think like this, I began to realize that life is much more bigger than me and my current situation. Sometimes we have to do things that we don't want to, in order to progress and grow.
3. Peace of Mind
What's better than peace of mind? I'll wait. Nothing at ALL. It is so much better to add peace and calm to a hectic situation, versus trying to always be right or letting an issue blow up in flames. Peace is one of our greatest gifts that we all can have; if we just reach out and grab it. Is it really worth being mentally and physically exhausted over petty situations or should you just bite the bullet and garner some type of peace? I think as we grow, our peace is much more important than ever before. As busy adults with hectic lives, we thrive on peace and clarity. Sometimes being the bigger person may be frustrating, but it also provides a peace of mind.
4. Because it's just the right thing to do!!
We all have a conscious. Our conscious will speak to us regardless if we choose to hear it or not. We know wrong from right and we know that conflicts can be solved with a little compassion and love. We may not always feel so cheery, but sometimes we have to put our big pants on and just do the right thing. Sometimes the right thing hurts, but in the end you can always have peace knowing that you did the right thing with no regrets. I think this speaks volumes of a person's character and it is so refreshing to just be in the space of good people shedding positivity all over.
5. Treat others how you want to be treated!!!
Yeah..Yeah.. I know everyone says it and doesn't mean it, but sometimes being the bigger person helps others in a way that you will never understand. A misunderstanding can ruin relationships if you don't take the time to salvage them. Be understanding and be receptive. Always look at the big picture and try to focus on the positive messages versus the negative. Be forgiving and humble. After all, you would want someone to give you the same grace. So treat people how you want to be treated, even if if you have to swallow your pride and become the bigger person.
I hope this article helped you on your journey to growth. Although being the bigger person is sometimes difficult, keep the faith and spread as much positive energy as you can. The world and your inner peace will thank you for it.
-S. Lynn Garner